There's One I In Microsoft Teams

by Trusty Bench Boys

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1.
There's One I In Microsoft Teams 01:56
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There's one I in Microsoft Teams And it's always watching you It stores your Azure Active Directory data in America Where the GDPR and your individual rights do not apply And all American law enforcement agencies Can demand it under Section 702 of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act There's one I in Microsoft Teams And it's always watching you And if you're not constantly engaged with it Your status will change from Available to Idle And your boss will notice and bring it up at your appraisal Even though you spent the whole time doing actual fucking work There's one I in Microsoft Teams And it's always watching you You finish your first meeting at 09:59 And your colleagues have already joined the 10 o'clock And now you've either got to apologise in the chat for running late Or shit yourself at your desk There's one I in Microsoft Teams And it's always watching you You end up spending your whole day staring At the decaying faces of your middle aged colleagues You're so hypnotised you don't recognise your own voice shouting YOU'RE ON FUCKING MUTE ANNABELLE There's one I in Microsoft Teams And it's always watching you
2.
My Big Event 03:57
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I’d like to invite you to my big event Please see the link below Covid’s meant it’s held online But we hope you choose to show It’s held on Teams as the company Hasn’t bought a Zoom account Any queries, direct them to me Please just give me a shout Expected start is half past nine We’ll try and keep it tight Check software ahead of time And you should be alright But you haven’t saved your password and your microphone is on and your laptop needs an update and your neighbour plays the drums Good morning everyone, thanks for joining the call If you could all turn your microphones off, we should be ready to start shortly. Thanks for all joining the call Direct questions to the chat We spoke before, you may recall At the last event we were at I’m here to give an update I’m here to speak to you I’m here in isolation If you will allow me, then I will outline The purpose of the call I won’t just read right off the screen But be sure to process it all If you’re not prepared, then slides will be shared But take notes for your reference For those of you Familiar to Teams and for veterans But my microphone is basic And my banter’s cold and forced My filter is a cat and You’ve signed up for the wrong call
3.
Push To Talk 03:17
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Are you there? Are you listening? I’ve got a problem that I hope you’re fixing, The red light flickers but I hear no sound, The black screen reflects my furrowed brow. If ignorance is bliss then I should be peaceful, But my life up here is far from blissful, The world keeps turning, I see it every day, The ventilator’s humming, never felt further away, So give me a sign so I know you’re listening, Waking every hour in anticipation, Neon lights and recycled air, The vacuum of space hides my despair. I keep on running but I get no where, I’m dreaming of green grass and the fresh air, But if I was to fall back down to Earth, What would I find? It can’t be much worse. If ignorance is bliss then I should be peaceful, But my life up here is far from blissful, The world keeps turning, I see it every day, The ventilator’s humming, never felt further away, So give me a sign so I know you’re listening, Waking every hour in anticipation, Neon lights and recycled air, The vacuum of space hides my despair. It’s been three days now, can you hear me screaming? I might be crazy but at least I’m breathing, If this spinning tube is to become my grave, Then just shoot me down and I burn into flame. Wait…am I on mute?
4.
Good Morning 01:59
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Idleness. A sound ferments and as such, Untended tenants overlooked; Connected, become assented - I ascend. Suffer me and what I recommend! Hitherto - Unpowered power; A shower of shite and blunted knives in hands Suspended – bloodied and presented Held in bleak and merry ascension Good morning You’ve got to get up because you reap what you sow Got to get a move on, got to get up and go Stop yawning This is the perfect jam to start your day Don’t let your burdens keep you down Keep your head up, things will come around
5.
F In The Chat 02:35
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Tory fucking pigs How dare you spin these lies Chat shit, get pinged Now isolate like the rest of us F in the chat For the blood on your hands F in the chat For the lives that you've wrecked F in the chat For the jobs that you canned F in the chat Your families are next Good luck herd You're on your own in this How about you pilot My foot up your arse F in the chat For the blood on your hands F in the chat For the lives that you've wrecked F in the chat For the jobs that you canned F in the chat Your friends are next I've got an idea UK versus you Now test your eyesight On our fucking knuckles F in the chat For the blood on your hands F in the chat For the lives that you've wrecked F in the chat For the jobs that you canned F in the chat You are fucking next We consider the matter closed
6.
Her, The Dog And Me 02:57
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I think I'll buy a two bed flat In Walthamstow or Brent And I'll get myself a rescue dog And move in with my girlfriend But now London feels too crowded So we'll move out of the fog Move deep into the suburbs Just me, her and the dog She says she's in this with me We'll split the mortgage and the bills We've got a south facing back garden We've got a three bed house to fill And now I go to bed at half past nine To catch the earliest train That's standing room only And there's leaves on the line again In the middle of those lonely nights And when I'm waiting in delays I worry what I'll tell her And I'm afraid of what she'll say Because I wanna go back to London That's where I need to be Move back in to that two bed flat Just her, the dog and me

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released July 25, 2021

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